I remember reading a book before our son was born (actually read a number of books!) that said people lie all the time after they first have a kid. Random person: “OH!!! How is (child)?!? Isn’t being a parent awesome?!?!” new parent: “Yeah! It’s great- its going so well.” Except you’re really thinking: “I wish I could figure how to calm my baby at 2am…I’m so tired…am I doing everything right?…I hope I’m not messing him up permanently…”
I have to say that I feel Emily and I are a great team and we felt quite prepared for Will but you still have those questions…and yet you try not to admit them or push through them or whatever.
I knew I’d have hard times but I never thought I’d be pushed to that “brink” so early you know? But after a long week or work day and you get waken up at 1am, he doesn’t want the bottle, the pacifier, to be rocked, and he has a dry diaper…but he KEEPS CRYING!!! What do you do?!?!?
I had a moment like that this week and I just felt completely and utterly helpless. To lay it out bare bones: weak. I just found myself hugging him close as he screamed and screamed while I whispered, “Help God, please help us, help God…”
Emily must have heard the screaming through 2 doors and came to me. She suggested just to try another soothing method that I had forgotten in the midst of it all. He began to calm and I told her how weak I felt- she said, “God’s power is made perfect in your weakness.”
That verse from Corinthians meant more at that moment than any other in my life and it’s one of my favorites. I remembered the simple prayer God had laid on my heart minutes before and thanked Him for stirring that trust in me.
When I am weak: He is strong.
I want my children to know that, experience that, live that, and hold fast to that. But most importantly, I want them to see their Dad showing them where his only strength comes from…our loving Savior Jesus Christ.